Last week I talked about chronically unhappy people and how things like complaining, sweeping problems under the rug and pessimism can ruin your customer relationships. Today, we’re going to DO something about all that unhappiness! Be aware of your attitude. Start putting your happiness first.

Here’s the big kickoff to turning your frown upside down: No one else can make you happy. They might augment your happiness and make your day brighter but you can’t rely on someone ELSE to make you happy. It starts and ends with you. “Often times, without even realizing it, we place our happiness, or rather, our ability to be happy, in other people or things,” Emily Inserra wrote in her post on TheOdysseyOnline.com.

When you go out for a sales call, take a deep breath and push away any and all of the negativity that happened before you left. Take that moment to tell yourself to be happy right now. Even if it’s just for the 30 minutes you’re meeting with a client. At least you’ll know you’re putting positivity into the meeting, into the universe, into yourself and onto the customer.

It takes practice. You have to keep working at it. Every day. You get up in the morning and decide to be happy. And if happy is too much of a stretch for that day, aim for CONTENT. But I’ll say it again; you must continuously work on your own happiness. “Happiness is fleeting, and that’s OK,” Inserra said.

Sure, you’re going to have bad days. And you’re allowed to wallow in, like, ONE of those bad days! LOL!

If you had a problem arise with an account and there’s tension now, you need to shake it off. Don’t dwell on blame or what wasn’t done right or negative things that might’ve been said. Seriously, take it from Tay Tay and simply shake it off. Call that account up and start with a fresh, friendly and HAPPY tone so you can turn it all around. It’s worth it. And you’ll feel so satisfied when you can say, “I completely turned that negative situation upside down.” Or when you tell your team, “My mad sales skills turned that client 180 degrees.” I always relished turning a Grumpy Gus into a Smiling Susan when I was in sales. And you will too. The power of triumph is highly motivating, but the key is to make them happy in that moment and you can’t do that if YOU’RE unhappy.

Many people think happiness is “some sort of end goal, something that would happen once just a few certain things fell into place. But, that’s just not how happiness works. Being happy is something that comes and goes, and that is how it’s supposed to be. Happiness is an emotion, and emotions are never permanent. We think that happiness should always be there, and when it’s not, something is wrong. But, more often than not, we need to take another look at how we are measuring our happiness,” Emily Inserra pointed out.

“If we want to feel true happiness, first we must accept that it is something we must choose to feel and choose to seek out as we are pursuing out bigger goals, but must also choose to know that it is not an end goal. Money can never make us happy. Another person can never make us happy. Happiness is not and cannot be our only goal. The only one who can make us happy is ourselves, doing what we love to do,” Inserra said.

Here are 4 action steps Melissa Heisler suggests to jump-start your happiness journey.

  1. Let go of stuff.
    This is metaphorical and literal.
  2. Be OK with what you have.
    “Unhappiness stems from a feeling of lack,” Heisler wrote. “It comes from the feeling that how you live or who you are is not enough. There is always someone with more – or less – than you. Comparing ourselves to others is always a cause for pain. Truly accept yourself and your circumstances. Acceptance equals peace.”
  3. Be in the present.
    “Stop replaying the tapes of when you had a loss,” Heisler recommended. “Stop living in the future hopes of what you could/should have.” Instead, focus on right NOW. “In each moment see how you can connect with those around you.”
  4. Do not create a criterion for happiness.
    “Don’t say, ‘as soon as I have X I’ll be happy.’ That thought only sets you up disappointment and keeps you from realizing the happiness you have available to you right now,” Heisler said.

Now, I’m NOT telling you stop setting goals! What I AM telling you is that your happiness is not solely dependent on the achievement of those goals. When you realize this and start living your daily life this way, you will find that the goals you achieve are a MUCH sweeter success than you’ve ever tasted.