Being an emotionally intelligent leader is the new normal. Not every person in a leadership position possesses an abundance of this quality. The good news is that you can developing this aspect of your personality and become an outstanding leader.

Qualities of Emotionally Intelligent Leaders

Self-​Awareness

We all have role models or people we aspire to be like. Sometimes, we convince ourselves that we’re very similar to these individuals. In truth, we may admire them because they possess a quality that we wish we had.

You may imagine that you handle pressure without getting rattled. Your team members may feel differently, especially if you’ve barked at them when they miss a deadline.

You might also be in complete denial about your tendency to play favorites in your department.  You may be telling yourself you have a very good reason for giving the same employee the best projects. In truth, you might be doing so because they consistently compliment you.

A continued lack of self-​awareness can hold you back from your goal of becoming an emotionally intelligent leader. To get the truth about your on-​the-​job behavior, you could ask trusted colleagues to tell you what to change.  But if you’re the type to hold a grudge, they might not reveal what you need to know.

A better strategy would be to take a psychometric assessment. The TeamTrait platform generates results that score how well you naturally fit a leadership role. The unbiased results also reveal your typical behavior in various work situations.

Controlling Emotions

As a leader, demands and complaints come at you from many directions, every day. The pressure levels rise and so does your stress. If you scream at someone who is delivering bad news, your emotional control needs work.

You might also give a team member the cold shoulder after they truthfully tell you they don’t support your latest business objective. Rejection stings. But taking it personally in a work setting, and acting out your negative emotions, damages work relationships.

Reactionary behavior on your part also weakens team commitment and loyalty. Employees will be afraid to tell you the truth. And key team members may decide to leave because they don’t want to put up with your outbursts.

In your quest to become an emotionally intelligent leader, promise yourself to take action. If you feel you’re about to lose your temper in a meeting, remind yourself to stay calm.

Don’t assume that the person giving you bad news has negative intent. They may be reporting facts and want your assistance. Taking a few deep breaths and considering the situation from their perspective might help.

If you can’t control an impending outburst, excuse yourself from the conversation. Be honest with the other person. Explain that you need to take a break and think through the implications of your discussion, etc.

Leaders feel the pressure to make decisions quickly and move on to the next issue. Rash decisions don’t always yield the best outcomes. Give yourself a few hours to review potential outcomes of a large decision.

When your emotions are under control, it’s time to make the decision.

Positive Interactions

You can become an emotionally intelligent leader by using the right words and phrases in a conversation. This strategy doesn’t mean that you provide all the answers. Instead, you should be sensing your team members' emotions and frustrations.

If you sense a team member is struggling with a project that you assigned, don’t make the conversation about you. Marcel Schwantes suggests asking, “Can you tell me more about that?”

The next step is crucial. You need to listen carefully to the answer and watch the person’s body language. These details provide critical information about your employee’s state of mind.

With that information, try to put yourself in their situation. It also helps if you review their psychometric assessments. If the employee struggles with ambiguity, for example, you can encourage them to acknowledge it. Then ask them to develop a few coping strategies.

When you show empathy for an employee’s situation and show them how to solve their own problems, you’ll develop a reputation for being an emotionally intelligent leader.

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